Politicians abandon English for Ukipish

Jon Danzig |


At this week’s by-election in Rochester and Strood the language of politics has once again turned to fear of immigration. 

But is it right to blame immigrants who are not the cause of our problems?  Why have leading politicians allowed Ukip to dominate the agenda, rather than saying, “We reject your scapegoating”?

Instead, it seems that many politicians have abandoned English for a new illogical language, Ukipish. It’s dominating British politics for no rational reason.  Just fear.

Yvette Cooper, Labour’s shadow home secretary, said yesterday:

“It isn’t racist to be worried about immigration or to call for immigration reform.”

When typed into the online translator, Ukipish was detected and automatically translated into plain English as:

“We’re not really worried about immigration, we’re worried about Ukip.”

Writing for the Daily Mail, Rachel Reeves, Labour’s shadow works and pensions secretary, stated:

“We have to listen to the real concerns that people have about how immigration is being managed.”

When entered into the translator, Ukipish was again detected and automatically interpreted into plain English as:

“We’re not really listening to peoples real concerns, we’re listening to Ukip.”

Prime Minister, Conservative David Cameron, said in his recent speech:

“I know you are worried about immigration.”

When put into the online translator, Ukipish was again detected and came out as:

“You know I am worried about Ukip.”

Kelly Tolhurst, the Conservative candidate in the forthcoming Rochester and Strood by-election, wrote in her campaign literature:

“I wanted to bring the Prime Minister to this constituency to show him that uncontrolled immigration has hurt this area.”

Ukipish was again detected and translated to:

“I want to show the Prime Minister that although there isn’t a problem of uncontrolled immigration in this area, uncontrolled Ukip could hurt us.”

(Unusually, the online translator added a footnote: “Rochester and Strood has a lower than average immigrant population than the national, and even regional, level. Its population is 87 per cent white British.”)

Nigel Farage, leader of Ukip was reported in The Telegraph as saying:

“Parts of the country have been taken over by foreigners and mass immigration has left Britain as unrecognisable.”

The online translator detected plain English and converted it into Ukipish as:

“Scaring people and the other political parties about immigration is really working for us.”

So, what is this really about?  

My view: it’s about irrational fear of immigration that is now dominating British politics. But actually, immigration isn’t the problem, and immigrants aren’t to blame for our problems.

Also read:

  ‘Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Farage?’

Gandhi quote blue background



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