Lonely little Britain

Jon Danzig |

Britain is now a country adrift, without a continent, lost, alone and out at sea.

Our government, without a proper democratic mandate, shunned our continent of Europe and is now looking for another.

We’d have a wonderful trade deal with our cousins in the USA, was the promise. That’ll easily replace our trading arrangements with Europe.

But Trump’s gone and Biden says no.

Oh. Please Mr Biden, says our government, could we tag along as a junior partner, with you, Mexico and Canada?

No? Unlikely?

Could we join the Pacific free trade bloc? We’ve burnt our bridges with our nearest continent, so we really do need to find another.

We know we’re nowhere near the Pacific, but, um, we’re quite desperate. Hey, we’re all on the same planet, aren’t we?

Good morning, Vietnam!

Climate change? What’s that got to do with anything?

Oh, you mean, we’ll have to buy and sell products thousands of miles away instead of with our neighbours?

Yes, we know, that won’t help tackle climate change, but we need some wriggle room here.

What’s that? Why did we leave our continent?

It’s complicated.

Thing is, we told a lot of lies to ‘the people’ and they voted for it.

So, not our fault really, it’s what voters wanted. Blame them, not us!

Yes, yes. We did have a perfectly good relationship with our continent before all this Brexit baloney.

Almost half of all our exports go to our continent, and just over half of all our imports come from there too.

By contrast, only around 20% of our exports go to the USA – quite a lot, but nowhere near the volume of trade we do with Europe.

Yes, yes, we know the irony.

Being part of our continent didn’t stop us trading with other continents and countries. In the EU, we could have kept the best of all worlds… and all continents.

And yes, we know, with Europe we had frictionless trade, which we’ve now thrown away, and we won’t get it anywhere else.

America doesn’t want us and, foolishly, we told Europe we don’t want them.

It’s cold and windy out here in the middle of the sea.

Please help.

We’re only a little country now, without our Empire, without our continent, and nowhere to go. To me, that’s just bananas.


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